Fuck everybody involved

I can’t scream this loud enough: FUCK INTUIT! FUCK WEBTURBOTAX. Fuck ’em all. Here’s what those jerks have done to me:

Two years ago, TurboTax for the Web worked perfect for me. I got my refund from both state and federal in under 2 weeks, and because of my low income then, I didn’t even have to pay for the service. Last year, my employer paid their accountant to do a number of the employees’ taxes. So this year, with perks like a low income and a free tax accountant gone, I figured I’d go back to TurboTax and get it done quickly and easily on the web, complete with electronic filing and refunding. I expected the same service and mediocre interface they had two years ago. This wasn’t the case, on both counts. Fortunately, the interface has gotten much better, and the Java app is much more responsive. Great, wonderful, grand. Their service, on the other hand, has gone to shit.

When I completed my taxes over two weeks ago, I made a mistake: I entered in my wife’s birthday wrong, something I often do. I got an email telling me that the IRS had responded to my electronic transmission, and that I could log in to my account, and see what the status was. It was rejected due to -surprise- the wrong birthdate entered in for the secondary filer. So I fixed that, and resubmitted. Couple days later, I get another email, telling me to check the website again. So I did, and this time, what was the problem? Apparently her social security number was wrong, as well as her birthdate, still. So I check all the sections pertaining to birthdates and social security numbers. Everything matches what’s on her W-2 perfectly. So I wait a few days, figuring I’d let the database get updated or whatever, and resubmit. Same fucking result.

So I check the help sections, and find a section that seems to be what I’m looking for: ‘What if my federal return gets rejected due to a wrong SSN, but I know that it’s right?’ Perfect. What’s their answer? Call the SSA, and verify that they have the correct records. Okay, so I call the 800 number. First call, I get shuffled randomly into finding information about my local office. When I enter in my zipcode, they tell me that they can’t find an office, and to CALL BACK. So I do. Second call, totally different message, and I get put on hold, then hung up on. Third call, same thing. Fourth call, they tell me to call back on a regular business day between the hours of 7am and 7pm.. the only place where it isn’t between those hours is in fucking Hawaii at this point in the day.

So I figure I need to just redo the whole thing by hand. So I call Intuit looking for a refund. First of all, their site says that their support is entirely web-based (web-based help I have like zero confindence in), and that their support costs a certain amount of money PER MINUTE. So I search their web-based help, and there’s a hidden number if you’re looking for a refund. So I call, and after 24 minutes of being on hold, some jerk is trying to tell me that it’s a problem with my ISP’s server and some damn thing with cookies… Don’t try to tell a web designer how the fucking internet works. So I have to PRINT out my return, and mail it, because my ISP’s server is in some sort of loop, and keeps sending the same return over and over again. Fuck those guys, fuck that shit.

I’m one of the biggest web proponents you’ll meet… if it’s web-based, I’ll try it. But it’s this kind of thing that is holding the web back right now.. servers going into loops and poorly designed systems that fail. Like EK at SVN says, the technology should be transparent to the customer.. I shouldn’t have to print out a form that I was expecting to submit electronically just because some dude’s server ain’t working right. If I’m a 40-year old mechanic, how am I supposed to understand cookies and server loops? All I know is that I was told by my son that the web is the future, and that I should file electronically this year. Well screw that and this whole web thing. I can walk down the block to buy a book, and can do my taxes in my kitchen in one night, not three weeks on the web.

• Category: Design