I guess it really is a computer…

“Don’t pay exorbitant prices in auctions or wait in long lines for your XBox. Enjoy all the XBox has to offer with a great bundle from GameStop!”

Looks like Scrooge McDuck is gonna hafta use his Number One Dime(tm)! And sell Webby! But that’s ok, because Gizmoduck shoulda kicked her ass a looong time ago.

I think it’s wonderful that right as I’m having a Nintendo question-of-faith, Microsoft comes in and answers it for me.

Profitabiliy before cooking

Interested in why you can’t quite put your finger on what makes a McDonalds hamburger taste different than any other in the world? Then check out this excerpt from ‘Fast Food Nation’, Why McDonalds French Fries Taste So Good, and you’ll be amazed at what lengths people go to in order to make a processed food taste like its real counterpart. [via Camworld]

Lion face. RRRrr. Lemon Face. Ooooo.

So in a relaxing turn of events, my parents have delightfully taken our 3-year old for the weekend, leaving my wife and I to relax in the mountains. Part of said relaxation plan included a night out downtown last night, with J&SBSB part of the plan. I’ve gotta admit. It was a really funny movie. Parts of it were retarded, parts of it were fucking hilarious, and parts of it were kinda along Naked Gun lines, but all in all, an entertaining movie. I’d say my favorite scene included J&SB wrongfully thinking they had snuck onto the movie set they were trying to disuade, but in fact had found their way onto ‘Good Will Hunting II: Hunting Season.’

“Somtimes you have to make a safe movie, then you make an arty movie, Matt.”
“And sometimes you make ‘Reindeer Games.'”
“Now that was uncalled-for.”

Really great stuff in that scene, more than I’ll even try to go into. I just wish Jason Lee had been a bigger/better part of it. He’s always been my favorite. Too bad his scenes as Brodie were simply re-hashings of old Brodie sayings from the one movie he was in. I also don’t understand why Judd Nelson was mentioned as one of this movie’s stars despite the fact he’s in it for nearly 4 minutes.

And on another movie note.. I’d also recommend going to see ‘Ghost World’ at an arthouse near you. It’s playing at The Mayan in Denver. Very engrossing, and I’m told the comic book is good, too. It stars Thora Birch of ‘American Beauty’ fame (the dark one, not the ‘American Pie’ one) as a deadpan teenage girl inbetween high-school and whatever else (an apartment and job in the working world for her increasingly distant friend from said high school). She latches onto the unlikely character played by Steve Buscemi and proceeds to unwittingly ruin his life. If you see this film, please let me know what you think her getting on the non-existent bus at the end means. I think I might know, but don’t want to spoil it, at least on the main page.

From beyond the grave

Some interesting political commentary I came across in last night’s reading of ‘The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy’ (‘The Restaraunt at the End of the Universe,’ to be exact):


The major problem – one of the major problems, for there are several – one of the major problems with governing people is that of whom you get to do it; or rather of who manages to get people to let them do it to them.

To summarize: it is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it. To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job. To summarize the summary of the summary: people are a problem.

Yes, Mr. Adams. People are definitely a problem.

The coolness is in another castle…

Dear lord. Have you all seen the 8meg Zelda movie? I feel seriously betrayed. I mean what the fuck? That old dark Zelda tech demo shown a year ago with Link and Ganon locking swords got *everyone* excited. It was one of those linchpins to making people believe that Nintendo isn’t a “kiddie” company anymore.

And now we get this shit. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it is incredibly technically impressive. Cel-shading is an awesome technology, albeit more fitting in a Mario game, in my opinion. It’ll probably be a badass game. But the humor of it just seems off. This is the videogame equivalent of Jar Jar. A slap in the face to fans who GREW UP with the series.

I’m also upset that Gamecube is delayed two weeks, and the one game that I desparately want (Smash Bros. Melee, with an awesome, traditional Link btw) is being pushed back til December. Plus, controllers are more expensive, and what the hell is up with Spicy Orange? I dunno, I’m getting disappointed. Goto IGN’s extensive Gamecube coverage and revel in the mixed feelings.

Mass Suicide Occult Figurines

I saw John Vanderslice play live about a year ago and like the sucker that I am, I actually paid for his album Mass Suicide Occult Figurines because it’s good. Now he has the entire album in MP3s on his site. Even CD quality sound and two lower quality ones for people with “lesser” connections. Get the song Bill Gates Must Die.

Dum dum da-dum…

According to WiredNews, Napster is going to return later this year!

Did I get your hopes up yet? Sorry, that was a cruel joke. What is going to happen, it seems, is that Napster will go live later this year, but as a subscription-based service and you still won’t find any copyrighted material on there. So Napster has essentially been reduced to an utterly impotent service, capable of delivering and providing absolutely nothing. I’ve had high hopes for what Napster could become, and I’ve not agreed with people in the past who said that Napster was dead. At this point though, Napster is worse than dead. It’s walking around okay, but the flesh is rotting off its body left and right like some sort of super-leper. So Limewire and Aimster await.